My late husband Roy would have been 82 on June 3, 2023. The creation of this website was inspired by the journey of grief I undertook following his sudden death of a heart attack on July 10, 2011. As I approach the twelfth anniversary of his death, I am reminded of the many painful yet educational lessons…
I was looking through my old journals hoping to find the details of a dream that I had shortly after Roy died. I have never forgotten this particular dream. In it, I am lying on my bed-it is nighttime. I am aware of the presence of a bright and illuminated being-he is floating above me…
In this next writing, I am continuing with the theme of letting go. During the initial months following Roy’s death, the focus was not only on saying goodbye to his personal effects, it was also about saying goodbye to his physical presence in my daily life. I needed to understand, without his presence, all of our…
This being human is a guest house.Every morning a new arrival. A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comesas an unexpected visitor … Be grateful for whoever comes,because each has been sentas a guide from beyond. Rumi When we have walked the path of grief for a long enough period of time, we…
This is a reposting of an article originally published in 2014. My late husband Roy died suddenly and unexpectedly on July 10, 2011. I will soon be arriving at the three year anniversary of his death. The journey of grief from that fateful day to today was filled with terrible emotional pain, severe depression, unending…
I recently had new business cards designed and printed. On one side is a quote by the late poet John O’Donohue: “When you lose someone you love, your life becomes strange.” On the other side is my logo and website address. I had this new card created for when I meet people who are struggling…
Like alot of people these days, I finally snapped. Last week my partner and I went to see the local holiday lights. He arrived at my home with car trouble and was understandably preoccupied with that. I suggested we take my car and he preferred to take his so he could spend some time listening to his…
Happy Birthday Whispers of Wisdom®. Today is your third anniversary of being launched! Wow… the time has gone quickly. When I wrote my first post in 2014, I was approaching the third anniversary of Roy’s death and thought I had “come through the grief” – which in a certain way I had. However, adding on…
We’ve each experienced those times when our plans just fall flat. Maybe you wanted to lose 5 lbs within a month and gained 2 instead. Or perhaps you envisioned finishing a work project and then got hit with the flu and you missed your deadline. It may be a situation where you have been disappointed…
I have looked life in the face with open eyes. I have learned that it takes courage to keep both feet in the game of life. I have learned since being on my own that I need to say NO to so many urges and impulses. Saying NO to the impulse is putting off short…
I had a meltdown yesterday and it is only December 2! After an intense session with my analyst, I returned home, ate lunch, and felt exhausted. I took a 2 1/2 hour nap with my cats and woke up feeling tired. Then I spotted the familiar red wrapped boxes in my kitchen. The day before…
For the past year and a half I have had a chronic need to scratch the top of my head. This is a recurring condition that surfaces when I am under stress. As a result of the scratching, I have a bald spot at the top of my head in the crown chakra area. The…
Recently I was asked why I share such personal information on my blog. The questioner stated that he could not imagine “revealing” this kind of material in a public forum. I have been thinking about this query for the past couple of weeks. The verb to reveal comes from the 14th century old French reveler…
This post reflects the beginning of a new chapter in my life. One of the primary side effects of grief has a somatic nature and can be experienced as weight gain or loss. In my case, I gained a significant amount of weight as a result of the medications I took for severe depression, anxiety,…
The greatest joy in my life is when I am sitting at my small, round, wood-top table looking out at the ocean – my feet propped up on the chair and my body calm. These moments, minutes and oftentimes hours of being right here is a slice of heaven on earth. Often my cats join…
I have been asked since starting my blog of how I managed to get through the early days of grief. During the first 12 months, I depended greatly on a poem by the late Irish poet, John O’Donohue, entitled “On Grief” from To Bless the Space Between Us, which I have included below. A colleague sent me…
Rabbi Harold Kushner wrote in his best selling book When Bad Things Happen to Good People that bad things happen to good and bad people alike – and good things often happen to bad people. I knew before Roy died that life was not fair, but my personal relationship to this statement took on a…
I recently returned from a five day trip to Tucson where I attended my niece’s wedding. My family and I had a good time – we laughed, danced, ate, drank, and caught up with one another’s lives. I travel with more confidence now. This trip was easier than others because I was with my family most of the…
Hello, My name is Kathleen Barry and welcome to my blog Whispers of Wisdom. I have been a widow for three years. This blog is my way of sharing what I have learned through my grieving process. I hope my reflections will help others who have joined this life changing ‘club’. “There is life after death…
