In my last post I spoke about my new project 1-15-15 which encompasses the rediscovery of my physical, sexual, and emotional well-being. Way back when I was a young woman, I imagined by the age of 60 that I would have all the answers, be totally together, and be congruent with the world in which…
This post reflects the beginning of a new chapter in my life. One of the primary side effects of grief has a somatic nature and can be experienced as weight gain or loss. In my case, I gained a significant amount of weight as a result of the medications I took for severe depression, anxiety,…
Dear Roy,Today is the third anniversary of your death. In some ways it feels like the other day that you left me so suddenly, and yet it feels like eons ago that were together. I love you, and will always love you. I will forever treasure your memory and respect who you are in my life….
The greatest joy in my life is when I am sitting at my small, round, wood-top table looking out at the ocean – my feet propped up on the chair and my body calm. These moments, minutes and oftentimes hours of being right here is a slice of heaven on earth. Often my cats join…
After my father’s death when I was 4 years old, the home my family and I lived in was filled with emptiness, sadness and silence. I was attached to a 48 year old mother who was inconsolable. My three older siblings and I were often adrift on an unknown sea of tears. One Saturday evening…
Today is Roy’s 73rd birthday – Happy Birthday Roy Jack Mankovitz – you are missed and loved today. I went to the cemetery this morning and brought flowers – I sat for awhile and spoke with Roy – telling him about the vicarious nature of life – how my moods and relationship to his death…
Rabbi Harold Kushner wrote in his best selling book When Bad Things Happen to Good People that bad things happen to good and bad people alike – and good things often happen to bad people. I knew before Roy died that life was not fair, but my personal relationship to this statement took on a…
One changes a great deal throughout the journey of grief. I can no longer call Roy when I have a few extra minutes. I cannot call him from the office and tell him I am on my way home and that he can put on the ribs for dinner. This reality was instantaneous and took many…
Since Roy’s death almost 3 years ago, I have cultivated an inner strength through writing, dialoguing, meditating and re-discovering what I love to do. My marriage to Roy was the source of my strength. Now I stand on the shoulders of our marriage and draw from the insights and breakthroughs that I am discovering as…
I recently returned from a five day trip to Tucson where I attended my niece’s wedding. My family and I had a good time – we laughed, danced, ate, drank, and caught up with one another’s lives. I travel with more confidence now. This trip was easier than others because I was with my family most of the…
