Ok I will admit it – I often enjoy working with alternative tools for self-awareness, development, and growth – like Tarot Cards, spiritual intuitive readings, and astrological chartings. One of my favorite tools is a deck of cards by New York Times best-selling author Don Miguel Ruiz, which is based on his best selling book The Four Agreements. The cards offer meditations on each of Ruiz’s four agreements which are: 1) Be impeccable with your word; 2) Don’t take anything personally; 3) Don’t make assumptions; and 4) Always do your best. I was reflecting on the focus of today’s post and decided to pull a card for guidance. I pulled Always Do Your Best and the meditation states: “you are alive, so take your life and enjoy it. You were born with the right to be happy, to love, and to share your love. Just to be – to take a risk and enjoy your life – is all that matters”.
In the wake of grief, I have worked diligently at becoming reacquainted with happiness, to enjoy life, and to feel alive. I have done my best to be where I am today – living fully, doing the inner work required of someone in grief, and taking a chance on life again. Today’s card made me think that “just to be” takes practice and awareness. I equate “to be” with being right here in the moment – in the present. I have learned through my many years of involvement with Landmark Education (www.landmarkworldwide.com) that I frequently live in the past, which I then tend to drag into the future. I have learned that living from this vantage point pretty much guarantees a future that looks like my past. I don’t know about you, but there are many aspects of my past that I don’t care to repeat … EVER. I prefer to see the future as a blank slate filled with a bunch of NOTHING – and from this space of NOTHING – anything and everything is possible. But I get ahead of myself … first I need to be here now – in the moment.
The ability to be in the moment takes practice and a commitment to this practice. I believe being in the now is dependent upon the creation of an anchoring phrase – a phrase that we come back to when we are flooded with feelings that are laced with anxiety and fear. My anchoring phrase is “I am committed to living an empowered life and empowering those whose lives I touch”. I feel fully alive when I support others to live an empowered life – a life that provides them with opportunities to be of service to our poor old world, to fall in love, to laugh, or to be in awe of the mystery of life. I feel alive when I learn, live, love, and laugh. Yes there are significant problems in the world. I am not living in a bubble of ignorance. However, I cannot let those problems drag me down into a space of feeling insignificant, powerless, and disempowered.
Author and Executive Coach Eric Allenbaugh notes that “every choice moves us closer to or farther away from something. Ask yourself: Where are your choices taking you? What do your behaviors demonstrate that you are saying yes or no to in life?” My commitment to the world and myself is that my choices are in alignment with my anchoring phrase. I ask myself “Is this choice going to take me closer to living an empowered life or return me to living in the “sewage” of life? Sometimes I can get back into alignment rather quickly and avoid the sewage – i.e., numbing out or being in the grip of negative and disempowered thinking. Other times I muck about in the sewage for quite a long time and stop keeping my word to others and myself. In the sewage, I am reacting to something I don’t want to confront and often act cavalier and rebellious. No doubt there is wisdom to be gained in the sewage … primarily “LET’S GET OUT OF HERE! THIS IS TOXIC!!”
Where are your choices taking you in your life? A word of caution: if you find yourself heading to a place that has a bad smell and you feel disempowered, you may be stepping into the sewage. When I finally wake up to the bad smell and feelings, I follow a 6 step practice that brings me back to the now: 1) I stop, 2) I breathe, 3) I look around, 4) I reflect and become curious with what I am feeling, what my body is sensing, and what is my mood, 5) I remember and repeat my anchoring phrase, and 6) I decide if I need to take action.
Sometimes this practice is second nature. Oftentimes I may find myself logging onto Amazon to see what I can buy or I head to the refrigerator to find something to eat in order to numb out – and there I am in the sewage! I, like you, am a work in progress. Cheers – we are on the right path. My advice: Be it our right foot or our left, let’s watch out where we step!